Bingo jokes that are still being used today

Bingo jokes that are still being used today

Time goes on but people keep coming back to play bingo at Over the years this legendary game has seen a degree of innovation: today we have many different versions to the game. This includes online play which became a beast of its own. Another thing which has been steadily growing over the years is the bingo community and culture. One of the things we love about bingo the most is the humour surrounding it. Some jokes about bingo have lived on and became timeless. In this article we serve you a fresh platter of the best bingo jokes that are still relevant today. 

New York Bingo Caller 

A man gets hit by a bus on a busy New York street. With bystanders looking on, the man’s final wish is to be blessed by a priest. The police officer at the scene calls out for a priest, but there is none in the crowd. Suddenly a guy in his 80s emerges and offers to help. “Officer”, he addresses the policeman, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic, but for at least fifty years now I’ve been living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on First Avenue. Every night, I listen to the Catholic litany, so maybe I can comfort this man.” The policeman agrees and lets him past. The man knees down and solemnly calls out “B-4. I-19. N-38…”. 

Bingo Puns 

  • How does a politically inclined person call out the numbers?

48 – Another Brexit debate

  • What is a democrat’s least favourite number?


  • How do meat eaters play bingo?

With steak money 

Love in old age 

One night, an elderly woman came home from bingo and found her 97 year-old husband in bed with another woman. She was enraged and caused a big scene. She ended up pushing her husband off the balcony of their 10 storey-high apartment and killed him instantly. She was charged with murder and brought to court where the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defence. Calmly, the woman explained: “Yes, your honor. I figured that if he is able to have sex at 97, he might just be able to fly”. 

Bob and Francis lived in a retirement home together… 

They were good friends and would spend time with each other. One of their favourite things to do would be to go out on the patio at night, stargaze and reminisce on the good times.

One night when they were on the patio Bob asked Francis if she could hold his penis while they talked. Bob didn’t ask for anything beyond that. She was hesitant at first but eventually came round. She held his penis and they resumed talking as per usual. This started to be a nightly routine. Francis would hold Bob’s penis on the patio and they would have a pleasant conversation.

One day Francis went out to the patio and Bob wasn’t there. She looked in the lounge to no avail. She went to the bingo room. He wasn’t there. Finally she found Bob at the pool, and he was with Agnes!!! Angry beyond belief Francis asked Bob “What does Agnes have that I dont have?!” And Bob replied “Parkinson’s”.